Better Reviews
by eldavojohn (898314)

I found this review to be logical and informative and therefore boring. So I decided to let a few key individuals weigh in on this and tell us exactly how this mesh network works.

Senator Ted Stevens: "This here larptop isn't an intersection for trucks to just ... DRIVE over, no, it's a junction for that internet and also your own personal internets. See, just the other day, I got on this here thing and it sent out what I call a "searcher tube" looking for other laptops ... up to 1.5 km away. That's right, once a searcher tube finds another larptop or 'junction tube' then it connects to that and the series of tubes continues to grow. Unfortunately, this series of searcher tubes and junction tubes makes it highly probable that my messages get backed up in those tubes. Therefore, this will provide an own personal internet for poor children in countries we either need to invade or ignore but it will not, however, suffice for bridging islands in Alaska."

The Reverend Billy Graham: "And lo, I did with God's good graces ask for power to be restored and replenished throughout the XO's motherboard thereby bringing the only free BIOS to life ... and it was good! Upon God's recognition of my authentication of that which you call "the login screen" a hand descended from the heavens. This hand stretched 3 km end to end and it was then clear to me then that this hand was intended not for me ... not for the rich ... not for the privileged but for the poor and pathetic chillun' of the world that need God's help. Now I have a method by which to contact them and teach them about God and ask them for weekly tithes! And when I realized that a TCP/IP connection had been made, I fell down on my knees and prayed to the Lord God for He is Good and Holy and brings life to these innate objects you call the XO laptop, Amen."

Bob Dylan: "Yeah, ok so like, I got this laptop and it was pretty groovy but I had to put my Mac down because it was like I couldn't use two laptops at once ... so anyway the laptop like wanted to be alive so I hit the power switch, man, and then it was like *wham* *whiz* *whazzle* and suddenly like the thing could 'talk' to other things like 1.5 km away and I wasn't sure if it was the uppers I had just taken or if I really was connectin' to another machine or network that far away.

Mitch Bainwol: "We have discovered that a new technology exists that is a threat to your safety & the economy and will further destroy our income in the near future. It allows criminals, drugs users and child molesters to contact each other freely and unmonitored up to 1.5 km away. They can trade ... no steal music at their leisure from a vast expanse of 1.5 km. They may already be using these laptops to steal your diamonds and moneys. Putting an XO laptop into your child's hands is only a gateway to crime and an early death. It's cheap price makes it easy to manufacture and distribute, we are here to warn you about the looming threat of a solid network of these devices stretching out across our free country. Thousands of children in other countries have received them already and their quality of life has plummeted. These laptops are sturdy and brightly colored, they are easily identifiable. Find people that have them and report them to the RIAA."