So an upgrade of PHP from 5.0 from 5.2 should be smooth and simple, right? Well, it might be, if you happen to know you need to switch to a different mysql driver. I browse the PHP change log between minor version updates. I just didn't happen to notice the most important morsel of information. Instead of using the "mysql" driver everyone who queries MySQL now has to switch to "mysqli". I wouldn't care if this was changed behind the scenes. But all database function names have to be switched. It's an easy search and replace, plus with our software package wrapping the database calls it was one line of code to change. But it's the principle of the thing. There was no need from the perspective of PHP users. The developers of PHP just don't seem to care when they make their users jump through hoops for nothing.

Thank you for everyone's patience while logins were unintentionally suspended.

A big thanks to phil for spending hours tracking down the issue with his own site, Bubblehouse.org, and sharing this info with me.