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Submitted by veridicus on June 1, 2006 - 1:41pm.

by 9mm Censor (705379) (#15447037)

01) the price 10) the bugs

Submitted by Warp9 on May 31, 2006 - 11:19pm.

From: Making an Argument Against Using Visual-Basic?

by pilot1 (610480) (#15441604)

VisualBasic, like just about every other language, has its place.

And it's called hell.

Submitted by veridicus on May 30, 2006 - 8:45pm.

On the topic of Techie Fight Clubs Springing Up:

I'm sorry, but...
by Kagura (843695) (#15431853)

Doesn't this article violate the first and second rules of fight club?

by Tackhead (54550) (#15431909)

It's geek fight club. There is no second rule; only a zeroth, first, and tenth rule.

Rule #0: You start counting from zero.
Rule #1: Do not talk about geek fight club.
Rule #10: Do not talk about geek fight club.
Rule #11: Only two bits to the rules.

by Pollardito (781263) (#15432070)

i suppose you've already answered my follow-up question:

"what kind of two-bit fight club is this?"

Submitted by xandro on May 30, 2006 - 8:39pm.

From Techie Fight Clubs Springing Up

I'm sorry, but...
by Kagura (843695) Alter Relationship on Wed May 31, 07:19 AM (#15431853)
Doesn't this article violate the first and second rules of fight club?

Re:I'm sorry, but...
by Tackhead (54550) Alter Relationship on Wed May 31, 07:28 AM (#15431909)

It's geek fight club. There is no second rule; only a zeroth, first, and tenth rule.

Rule #0: You start counting from zero.
Rule #1: Do not talk about geek fight club.
Rule #10: Do not talk about geek fight club.
Rule #11: Only two bits to the rules.

Re:I'm sorry, but...
by Pollardito (781263) Alter Relationship on Wed May 31, 07:58 AM (#15432070)

i suppose you've already answered my follow-up question :

"what kind of two-bit fight club is this?"

Submitted by Ace_NoOne on May 29, 2006 - 3:09pm.

From: High performance FFT on GPUs

Re:This is news? (#15425034)
by Fex303 (557896) on Monday May 29, @01:02PM

I have an uncle who's a professor who's been using GPUs for scientific computation for years.

I'm sorry, but playing Quake at really high framerates does not count as research. He's not fooling anyone.

The business cards which list him as 'Profess0r of Pwnage' probably aren't helping either.

It's also bad when he refers to the undergrads as 'n00bs' during his lectures to them.

via AlterSlash

Submitted by BruceCage on May 28, 2006 - 4:17pm.

From: Starting an Education in IT?

learn by solving *your* problems
by Speare (84249) (#15418665)

Sure, there are seriously important things to learn in data structures, algorithms, and methodologies, but the fastest way to learn programming (the fastest way to learn ANYTHING) is to try to solve your own problems, not the stock rote example problems you'll find in books.

If you want to learn how to skate, take a tennis ball and chase it around a parking lot while having skates strapped to your feet. Don't spend more than a few minutes trying to consciously learn how to stand, roll forward, brake, or fall. Chase the ball. Do something OTHER than learn how to skate, but do something that requires skating. Your medulla oblongata will do the job far faster if it's allowed to do it without micromanagement from your conscious mind.

Same goes for programming. You won't learn how recursion works by typing in a fibonacci example. You'll learn how recursion works when you want to make a gallery thingy and find yourself needing to catalogue all *.jpg files below a certain directory. You won't learn how object oriented programming works by re-reading the wikipedia article on polymorphism, you'll learn more valuable lessons when you decide it's insane to be writing almost identical code in so many places and realize that's what a parent class is for.

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Submitted by linvir on May 27, 2006 - 6:18pm.

From: BSA Claims 35% of Software is Pirated

by s7uar7 (746699) (#15417826)

I pirate my software and spend the money I save on CDs. I'll let the RIAA and BSA fight it out between themselves.

Submitted by solaraddict on May 27, 2006 - 5:00am.

From: Space Elevator An Impossible Dream?

Re: Never?
by soupdevil (587476) (#15413603)
An infinite universe is no guarantee that everything will happen. There are many infinities. For example, there are an infinite number of numbers between three and four, but none of them are five.

by dfn5 (524972) (#15413740)
Crap. You just made my cat disappear. Thanks alot.

Submitted by slashdoodle on May 26, 2006 - 8:24am.

From: Display System That Knows Who You Are

Bad idea...
by creimer (824291) (#15405455)

I don't think I want a screen that can scream to the rest of the office, "Oh, it's another dirty pervert looking at me again."

by Tackhead (54550) (#15405580)

"It was terribly dangerous to let your thoughts wander when you were telecommuting or within range of a telescreen. The smallest thing could give you away. A nervous tic, an unconscious look of bedroom eyes, a habit of muttering to yourself, anything that carried with it the suggestion of looking at b00bies, or having something to hide from HR. In any case, to sport wood at the office, was itself a punishable offense. There was even a word for it in Cubespeak: pantcrime."

- Little Sister, 1985

Submitted by slashdoodle on May 26, 2006 - 7:56am.

From: Windows Vista - Not So Bad?

Re:Microsoft eating their own dogfood?
by mgv(198488) (#15405747)

Microsoft eating their own dogfood?

Just two things to say about dogfood:

1) Food is what goes into a dog, not what comes out of a dog. (Corollary: That which comes out of a dog isn't food.)
2) It's coming out of the end of the dog into which food doesn't go. (Corollary: Unless you're into that sort of thing, in which case, we don't wanna know.)

If you remain uncertain about point 2, a simple test will suffice.

Put your finger into the dog's mouth. If you cannot feel any teeth, then that isn't the mouth. What you are feeling with your finger probably isn't food, either.

Michael

Submitted by slashdoodle on May 26, 2006 - 7:43am.

From: The Cost of a Tiered Internet

by spun (1352) (#15405348)

Can't we just gut all the AOL users instead? What was that quote, oh yes, here we go (emphasis mine):

There it is again. Some clueless fool talking about the "Information Superhighway". They don't know didley about the Net. It's nothing like a superhighway. That's a rotten metaphor.

Suppose the metaphor ran in the other direction. Suppose the highways were like the net...

A highway hundreds of lanes wide. Most with pitfalls for potholes. Privately operated bridges and overpasses. No highway patrol. A couple of rent-a-cops on bicycles with broken whistles. 500 member vigilante posses with nuclear weapons. A minimum of 237 on ramps at every intersection.

No signs. Wanna get to Ensenada? Holler out the window at a passing truck to ask directions.

Ad hoc traffic laws. Some lanes would vote to make use by a single-occupant-vehicle a capital offense on Monday through Friday between 7:00 and 9:00. Other lanes would just shoot you without a trial for talking on a car phone.

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Submitted by slashdoodle on May 26, 2006 - 5:51am.

From Honda Robot Controlled By Brain Waves

Unfortunately...
by GillBates0 (664202) (#15403715)

...further trials resulted in the robotic hand trying to touch itself every other minute and repeatly making lewd gestures with it's middle finger.

Submitted by slashdoodle on May 25, 2006 - 9:49am.

From iPod Lawsuit Lawyers Sue Their Own Plaintiff?

by Paladin144 (676391) (#15397601)

This poor guy. I hope things turn out okay for him. Conversely, I hope the lawyers are eaten alive by a cauldron full of insane, demonic, snow-weasels. Or another group of lawyers. Whichever is more painful.

by Anonymous Coward (#15397652)

Dear Paladin144, I have recently received notice of your threatening other lawyers. I quote, "I hope the lawyers are eaten alive by a cauldron full of insane, demonic, snow-weasels. Or another group of lawyers. Whichever is more painful.". I warn you, under Section 37B of the attacks and counterattacks act of 1957, it states that "all threats against lawyers is a crime against the state, and..." oh hello, little weasel. You do seem cold today. What's that you want? You want sdffj gdfgjdfg AAAAH my face aaah it's trying to eat my face aaaah actuallythatwasquitenice AAAAAAHHH

by kfg (145172) (#15397801)

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Submitted by slashdoodle on May 25, 2006 - 9:32am.

From Pirates Promise Improved Version of DaVinci Code
by OldManAndTheC++ (723450) (#15399311)

Using (pirated) PC-based video editing software, enterprising movies pirates have issued a new, improved version of the Da Vinci code. A plot summary follows:

Middle-aged Harvard professor Robert Langdon is giving a lecture in Paris when he is confronted by a police detective, who shows him a picture of a man who has been murdered in a gruesome fashion. Langdon, who has been living in an airport terminal, takes off in search of the holy grail, which has been stolen by a young Leo di Caprio. A gratuitous time warp takes him back to WWII to save Matt Damon from being killed by Nazis. Returning to the present, a slingshot around the moon reveals his presence to vengeful mobsters, who are unimpressed by his skill at ping-pong and shrimping. Escaping from them via Fed-Ex cargo plane only leads him to a close encounter with a volcano and a young Meg Ryan, with whom he has a cheesy and banal romance that only a woman could appreciate. With a newfound attitude towards the fairer sex he agrees to coach a group of weepy baseball players, but mysteriously, without even sleeping with any of them, he contracts AIDS and dies. But that doesn't stop our hero. He returns from the dead, bangs a mermaid, and brings joy to millions of kids before returning back to Paris where he started, which makes you wonder why the hell he left in the first place.

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Submitted by veridicus on May 24, 2006 - 4:04pm.

by Myrrh (53301) (#15317349)

I've come up with a way to reduce — perhaps even eliminate — our dependence on foreign oil as an energy source.

As more and more civil liberties are trampled upon, faster and faster will the Founding Fathers spin in their respective graves.

If we attach magnets to each Founding Father, then wrap copper wire around each of them, we should have a potentially unlimited energy source. Well, at least until the Libertarians get elected in significant numbers—so yeah, come to think of it, it truly is unlimited.

The AC frequency, of course, might be unpredictable. In fact, I'd suspect it will be ever-increasing, which could create some technical issues to overcome. But we're smart people, I'm sure we can figure it out.

What do you all say? Shall we write up a grant proposal?

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